Tuesday, April 12, 2005

Lies Your Blogger Told You.

The most daunting thing about starting a blog is deciding who you want to be. I'm a Gemini and I suffer from PMS: there are many personalities at work here, and only one of them is quiet.

Most importantly what do you share and what lies do you tell by omission? 'Cause if you think I'm showing all my warts, you can forget it! There's no way I'm letting people know about the odd shape of my toes or the fact that I have a weird fixation on... No Flippin' Way!

But for the record:

1. My name is not actually Nicolette. It's another French name though so, hey, same thing!

2. I'm 36 and nobody is more surprised than I am. I think I have slightly arrested developement. I mean, I've retained my youthful zeal and look at the world with curiousity and excitement. I can comport myself like an adult when I need to do so. I just try to avoid those situations.

Someday I will get plastic surgery. I aint proud. I resent shows that show how painful these procedures are, because that just isn't very comforting.

3. I love pets and have lost all resistance to sad animal stories. If you ever send me a sad story about an old dog dying I will instantly google a site on voodoo curses and come looking for you. This is because I worked at an animal shelter for years and have done my tour of duty.

I also don't want to hear what PETA is doing, unless it's so I can write about what horrible misguided, sure-to-backfire, thing they are up to now. Not all animal people are fanatics.

4. I am currently battling a horrible addiction to Red Bull. It's almost like crack 'cept more expensive.

5. I'm second guessing every word I type and thinking: No, no, no! I wanted to come across as charming and sophisticated and -- most of all -- capable of producing words of great power! To think, I almost revealed my fascination with...

6. I want to be able to discuss issues with people. I hope if someone disagrees with me they over one issue they won't write off all the things we've agreed on in the past. I wouldn't normally write someone else off if the situation were the other way around. (Unless they were torturing Shelties in their spare time.)

7. My mind is sarcastic, yet I hate hurting someone's feelings unnecessarily. Someone usually has to irritate me for quite some time before I'll really become unpleasant - then it becomes a little too ugly.

8. I'm too honest. I can't always tell when someone wants the truth and when they want polite lies.

9. I'm quite soft-hearted. I might seem sarcastic and acerbic, but I'm actually a sucker. Oh, I'll mop up the floor with you if you start with me, but I'll feel bad about it the next time I'm drunk. Although, since I barely drink, it won't be that often.

10. I would be a famous singer today if it weren't for that whole tone deaf thing.
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