Hearing Voices.

I found a really terrific blog today by a woman named Diana: http://seeking-clarity.blog-city.com/. I really enjoyed spending time there, and for any women interested in writing, it's definitely time well-spent. (I suppose some men might enjoy it also - not trying to be sexist.)

I enjoy blogs where people write in a way that I never could. When they write really well, it can be somewhat depressing to know I could never "sound" like them, but it's encouraging to know that individuality does come through in the words we choose.

My writing style does not have as much depth as I would like, and there always seems to be a flippant tone. I think it's because I was raised to use humor as a coping skill and when my mother was at her most pissed she could be pretty damned funny. I have to acknowledge that I write the way I sound - fast, flippant, flirty, (somewhat) funny. I have the personality of a teenager on a sugar high.

I do want to try for something deeper. Unfortunately this means getting in touch with my feelings and understanding that humor can be a mask for pain, an avoidance mechanism, a way to avoid deeper truths... (I think my choice of the word "unfortunately" says it all.)

At the same time, I don't want to toss the baby out with the bathwater - I realize that wanting to sound too much like someone else steals my voice. And why write unless I want to be heard?